Um, hullo

I am alive, surviving. I exhausted my unemployment benefits and am still home wondering what the heck to do. I am on Facebook a lot, connecting with old friends, but mostly just picking up the house daily (after the kids wreck it). I am just blah, enjoying the weather and trying to make improvements. I will write more soon.

Unsolicited Baby Advice

I had a falling out with some very close friends 6 years ago. To say that I don't regret how things turned out would be a lie. I still miss their friendship and reached out a few years ago to see how it would go, and the door was politely closed, not slammed, for which I am thankful.

So while I was looking up a baby registry for a coworker in November, I stumbled upon a gift registry for one of those friends, S., and I took a chance and sent a very short but polite note to her parent's house (I didn't have a current address) along with a gift card for the baby and one for her to pamper herself. I received a nice thank you note. Door wasn't closed with this person, but I didn't take the opening to catch up and hopefully get together. I would need to mend 2 other bridges before I got to that point.

Anyway, while looking up another baby registry, this time for my cousin, I find out that J., the person I really hurt the most, is expecting. I am thrilled for her. She will be a great mother. But now I am stuck. Do I send her a gift as well, even though she closed the door? I don't want to stress her out, especially when being pregnant is not the best time to add to the emotions.

So in lieu of sending a long note (like the one I wanted to send S.) I will give my short list of mommy-to-be recommendations, because I have no other outlet to do so and hopefully, this will get it out of my system. Decision to send a gift will be made later.

Pregnancy:

1. Get a body pillow. Meet your new husband.
2. Get a prenatal massage as often as possible.
3. Keep up pedicures, preferably by someone else doing it.
4. Don't buy too many maternity clothes. Stick to the basics and check out the line at Target.
5. Have the boogie bag ready early.
6. Bring the boppy to the hospital for the delivery. It makes breastfeeding easier.
7. The maternity floor is nowhere near as great at L&D.
   
8. Get familiar with the breast pump.

Baby stuff:

1. Don't register for everything. The expensive bottles that you like might not be the ones junior likes.
2. Same goes for binkies.
3. Skip the diaper holder thingy.
4. Get the BEST glider/rocker/ottoman set that you can afford. You will be spending a lot of time in it.
5. DO get the bottle warmer. I still use mine as I never microwaved bottles or baby food for my kids.
6. Get a bottle sterilizer if you don't have a dishwasher.
7. DO get blanket sleepers (kids kick off blankets).
8. Don't bother with baby shoes until the kid is starting to walk. Get the leather booties (at an outlet or discount store)and progress from there.
9. GO TO THE OUTLETS AND TARGET! No reason to pay full price for stuff the kids will outgrow in nanoseconds. Both of my kids didn't even wear 9 month clothes.
10. Use Craigslist, Zwaggle and other site wisely for used stuff. Don't buy car seats or cribs used.
    
11. Don't expect to get your hair or body back right away.
12. Check out baby movies at a local theater. They allow babies and keep the sound lower, and no one cares if you happen to be breastfeeding in the middle of it.
13. Get a 529 account set up right away (and link a Upromise account to it). Start early saving for college!
14. If family members give you US Savings Bonds, have the bond made out to your name and SSN with the child as the beneficiary. This wont count again the child for financial aid for college.
15. Keep up with the baby book as often as possible. Print pictures as you can. Preserve memories as soon as you can. The first birthday will be here before you know it.
16. Don't save everything (like the umbilical stump). Be selective. Save the firsts, but don't get crazy. Too much clutter will make you nuts.
    
17. Get help for the first few weeks. You wont be yourself for a while.
18. Donate or sell stuff that you won't need as soon as you can. It will free up space and you can feel good about helping others.
19. Find a lullaby CD that you can stand to hear over and over again.
20. Realize that you cannot control everything and that people only mean well when they give unsolicited advice.
    

Rest In Peace

I am probably the 1 millionth person to comment on this, but, I cannot believe that Heath Ledger is gone. I cried, people, seriously welled up tears when I heard on the radio. I felt a pit in my stomach. I haven't felt this way about an actor who was gone too soon since River Phoenix. I am completely blown away. Maybe it was his deep voice and tortured soul roles that he played but man, I love his movies. He was a great talent and will be missed. What a shame.

Happy New Year!

Annaliese's first Christmas (above)


OK, I don't have a lot of time, I just stole a few moments before I have to pick up the kids.

1. Annaliese is walking at 9 months. Oh boy!
2. Miranda LOVES The Electric Company and tells me "Sorry. I can't hear you. There's a banana in my ear. " when she doesn't listen to me.
3. I am done with my work contract, home at the moment and looking for other work.
4. Honey is SUPER stressed, I hope that me being home now will lower his stress levels. I might even be able to get a hot dinner or two on the table when he gets home...
5. I went vegetarian and am taking yoga. Time for a better me.
6. Holidays were great. How were yours?

Halloween

Annaliese as Winnie the Pooh, Miranda as a Bumble Bee, Honey as a Hogwarts student, MM as the nice executioner, and AM as someone in a wig and cape. E. went as AMY WINEHOUSE! She looked awesome. I just dressed in black with a hot pink wig. It was great. Trick or treating in Sleepy Hollow country is the best!

Here is everyone.

Autumn

Pumpkins for my pun-kins.

Milestones

Wow. That last post was my 100th. On top of that, Annaliese is already crawling around everywhere and pulling herself to standing in the crib. Oh, and Miranda is WAY too smart for her own good. She is sneaky. Very sneaky. And she lies. Oh, and I don't like it. And honey and I just had our third wedding anniversary. You know what the traditional gift is for a third anniversary? Leather. The contemporary one? Crystal. Our anniversary? Was us in bed asleep by 10pm, too exhausted from one terrible work week after another. He still wants to give the leather gift. I told him to make sure that it was tied to a crystal that I could hang in the window. You know me, very feng shui.

Anyhoo. I am working like a dog tonight. Too many things going on. I am HOPING that he isn't going too crazy with the two little ones on his own without E.'s help.

Just as an aside, I have been noticing that I have not really been taking stock in appreciating things lately. I have just been living to work, getting glimpses of life in watching the kids grow. Friendships have fallen by the wayside, love life is sparse, and "renewing my spirit" so to speak, is not very "renewed". I have fallen into quite a rut. I am trying to break out, live a little until the end of my work contract, and then hopefully breathe easier when it is over and the holidays are complete. My kids are getting a little more than the bare minimum of me, but then I am exhausted. And the headaches continue. Now it is definitely my sinuses. I hope I don't get the flu. I am getting a flu shot next week.

I have been trying to expand my horizons, learn more applications on the computer, appreciate art, take more pictures. I am excited about the possibility of changing industries from pharmaceutical into sports business. I really think that it would be just as stable as pharma, and the scheduling is much more concrete. That would be great. The hours are probably still hell, but at least it would be predictable.

As for "renewing my spirit", I have always been a great lover of art, 20th century modern furniture, early 20th century architecture (Frank Lloyd Wright) and sculpture (Calder), contempory abstract paintings (Rothko), photography (just learning), and glasswork (Dale Chihuly), with a few Greek statues and Medieval art and architecture thrown in the mix. For performing art, I will always go back to the ballet. I get my tickets for the Nutcracker at Lincoln Center in July. Puppetry is next (my love of anything Julie Taymor has trickled down to Miranda watching The Magic Flute with wide-eyed wonder), and then movies with an edge and old choral music (Mozart's Requiem and Handel's Messiah are my faves). For classical music, Bach is my absolute favorite. For our wedding, I had only Bach pieces playing for the procession and recession. I love Sudoku.

I hope to carve out some time soon to take Miranda to Storm King. I think she would love the monumental sculpture pieces and it is beautiful in the fall. I agree that kids under 4 shouldn't be allowed at Lincoln Center. She won't appreciate it. And I want to enjoy myself. Not have the back of my chair kicked 100 times with whining.

I also am an observist. I catch the misspelled words on billboards, signs, etc, all the time. I LOVE when Jay Leno has his bit with the newspapers. I have seen bouquet, Caesar, and field spelled incorrectly more times than I can count. I also appreciate witty literary quips, like "sarchasm" and "does anal retentive have a hyphen?" or "Vivant Linguae Mortuae".
I notice the wierdest stuff. Like the guy jacking off at the LIRR as it went by his "office" (if he was working in the back of an office building, naked) at 7am.

I need to say goodnight to the old lady whispering hush and break out into something enriching. But then again, that book puts Miranda out 75% of the time. So maybe it is a good thing.

I am not a luddite, but c'mon...

Last night E. stated that she absolutely needed to use the only working computer in the house (that is connected to the flat screen tv) in order to complete her English homework.

Me: what are you looking up online?
E.: I have to look up words on Dictionary.com.
Me: Vocabulary words? Are you looking up definitions or anything more specific?
E.: Definitions. Can I puh-leeze sign on? I need to get this done.
Me: Can you use a dictionary? Look them up in the book?
E.: (getting upset) Huh? I have to look them up! Why can't I use the computer?
Me: Why can't you use a book?
E.: It won't have what is online.
Me: They get the information from what is in the book, silly.
E.: (exasperated) OK. Fine. But why can't I use the computer?

Wow. How far students have come to get information on demand.