70's Porn for $500, Alex

Weirdness ensued last week as I proceeded to watch Wonderland followed by Boogie Nights. I had to take a shower after watching them due to the skeeviness factor. Shutter. Once you hit 35, it's all downhill.

The Lizard King, the Genius, and the Virgin

Happy birthday to my brothers, Karl and Keith. Yes, they are twins. Yes, they are identical. Yes, they are both married.

Today is also Jim Morrison's birthday. Coincidentally, my brothers were born on his birthday the year he died. Today is also the anniversary of John Lennon's death. It is also the Immaculate Conception Holy Day in the Catholic Church.

I have to go light a candle. I wonder what Strawberry Fields in Central Park will look like tonight. Too bad I am stuck in DC. God bless rock and roll.

Deano sang "Sway"

I work on the 21st floor of a 40-storey tall high-rise in midtown Manhattan. You become very aware of how high up you are when on very windy days ALL YOU CAN HEAR IS CREEKING FROM THE BEAMS IN THE WALLS. I am getting seasick here!

Happy birthday to me

I feel old today. Joint pain, tooth pain, feeling generally under the weather.

Despite the pity party I threw for myself earlier in the day, my honey gathered a few friends for dinner and drinks at Havana-NY. Mojitos, plantains, and yuca fries abound. What a great time!

We checked out the Lord and Taylor Christmas windows on the way home. We decided to skip checking out the Rockefeller Tree Lighting as it was SO crowded. I love Christmas season in NYC.

All in all, it was a great day. I love the fact that my mother calls me every year at the time I was born.

Now I don't feel so old.

This one was a miss...

Oliver Stone has good movies and bad movies. I feel so bad for him that his childhood favorite epic that he spent over $150 million to film was TERRIBLE.

Alexander had so much potential. It had drama. High-strung parents. Exotic locations. It had battle scenes. First-rate actors. But then it all went horribly wrong.

WARNING: Spoilers ahead. Look away if you want to waste $10 to see this disappointing movie.

Where do I begin?

The actual briliance of Alexander as a military strategist and tactician was not even addressed. It was just assumed he was great and everyone loved him. It was not shown HOW he got to be so popular with those he conquered. If my honey and I hadn't seen the Discovery Channel show about Alexander the Great, we wouldn't have known what was going on.

The battle scene of Guaguemela was horribly shot. Granted, fighting + desert= dustbowl, but it was inconsistant with the dust and clean shots, not to mention, the editing was choppy.

Alexander's speech before the troops failed miserably to compare with other epic military speeches such as the "Freedom" speech in Braveheart and the "St Crispin's Day" speech of Henry V by Shakespeare. It was the most non-motivational speech I have EVER seen and I think even Oliver Stone knew it because he kept CUTTING OUT THE AUDIO of Colin Farrell's hoarse voice with so-called "vivid battle scene backround noise". It never came across as to why the troops should follow him into such a blood-soaked battle.

Speaking of Colin Farrell's voice, I didn't know Alexander and anyone that played in a scene with him had an Irish accent. He could have at least TRIED to lose the brogue.

Rosario Dawson and Angelina Jolie took cues from Aaliyah's bad accent in "Queen of the Damned" and overacted in every scene. My honey commented that he didn't know that they had silicone breasts back then but that they looked great on Rosario.

The homosexual content of Alexander's life cannot be ignored, but come on. It was when Colin beared his ass and a glimpse of his "tallywacker" was on screen with another guy in the room, about 15 guys walked out of the theater, laughing. Every scene with his lover, Hephaistion, there was that "will they, won't they" kiss, have intercourse, whatever, uncomfortable feeling. Their love/lust was unmistakeable, but Oliver really went overboard to the fact. And then when Hephaistion dies, Oliver barely does it justice, where Alexander REALLY had a 5-storey funeral pyre for him. It wasn't even mentioned.

Jared Leto (Hephaistion) did a really great job. He was understated when he needed to be and forceful when he needed to be. He showed emotion in his eyes and I really felt for him when Alexander took a wife. As a matter of fact, he was the BEST actor of this whole fiasco. The fact that I have loved his work since "My So-called Life" has nothing to do with it. It was "Requiem for a Dream" that really had me supporting him as a talented actor.

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, another one of my favorite actors since "Titus" and "Velvet Goldmine", was not well represented in this film. His character seemed whiny and wasn't consistent with either siding with or opposing Alexander.

There is sooo much more to pan here, but I will have to save it for another post after I get the crockpot going. Happy Friday!

Happy Thankgiving

I am thankful that I dont have to drive to Long Island...

God Bless us, everyone.

Update: We made it to New Haven, CT in 1.5 hours. Almost no traffic. Hazzah! Then on the way home, we made it in 1 hour. Horray! Then we went to see Alexander. Fizzle.

Betty Crocker I ain't

Take 1 can Libby's easy pumpkin pie mix. Add necessary ingredients for filling. Pour into premade graham cracker pie shell. Bake according to directions on can.

One hour and 15 minutes later, burn bottom of crust from stupid irregular temperature control on old gas oven and carelessly drop whole pie on floor causing dog to fall into ectsacy while trying to eat the "people food" that mommy put there just for him. Sink onto kitchen floor in tears as I got the last can of pumpkin pie mix on the shelf on Sunday. UGH.

Thanks to my honey for getting me to watch Amazing Race with him so we could make fun of the people we want eliminated (please, please, PLEASE kill Jonathan and Victoria, married entrepreneurs. Their whining is TOO MUCH.).

At least I have the new U2 CD to make me feel better. :) BTW, IT ROCKS!

Just keep swimming...

I feel like I am swimming in work today. Ugh. Thank goodness for weekends.

CHAOS

Yes, we have CHAOS at home (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome). We are still unpacking wedding and shower gifts, trying to decide what should go and what should stay as well as trying to streamline our lives by cleaning out drawers and closets. We live in a perpetual state of messiness.

Disclaimer: Stuff just takes over, not dirt. We are not filthy people, just people with too much stuff. Can I emphasize enough, that we are CLEAN people, clean! We are nowhere even close to those people on Clean Sweep or How Clean is Your House? (though I will admit, I LOVE those shows!)

Enter, the Flylady. She rocks. Her motto, "Things didn't get messy in a day, and they won't get clean in one either". I love her, LOVE HER! Each week is a "zone", each day a "mission". Now I have a built in plan for the month. It gets a little tricky to follow as I am working full-time and so is my honey, I don't have all day to do stuff like stay at home moms, but it definitely has helped control the clutter.

Anyone know where I can get rid of a 10 year collection of shot glasses from all my travels? They are now just dust collectors (but they are CLEAN, I swear). I don't even drink shots anymore. Sorry K, no more Jagermeister shots for me! Should I send them to my old sorority house? I am always willing to invest in education. :)

Orin Scrivello, DDS

I know it's wrong to say, but I LOVED my old dentist. He was polite, gentle, never rude, always asked if I needed more novacaine because he didn't want to hurt me, and more importantly, ran a tight ship and actually ran his appointments on time.

Switch to a new job, new insurance, and a new, more convienent dentist.

An old filling had broken in one of my molars and she was to fit for a crown.

I felt like I was in Little Shop of Horrors. Seriously. The new dentist looks gentle enough but then she kept trying to force my mouth open further than nature intended. The water that is used to soften the friction from the drill was teaming into my mouth, causing me to gag horribly. Then I smelled smoke from the drill after she turned the water flow down (picture a wet saw here). The assistant kept pulling my terribly dry lips to the side and resting some machine in the corner of my mouth, pinching the skin of my lips between the machine and my teeth. At least she shot me full of novacaine, but when it wore off, I was left with a seriously fat lip and a horrible metallic taste in my mouth.

Thank GOD I don't need a root canal. Unfortunately, I have to go back to get the new crown, but you can bet that I won't be going back. I am no Arthur Denton.

Let sleeping dogs lie...

...otherwise he will beat you down with his wagging tail and cute face.

The Nose Knows

If you haven't discovered the Henri Bendel scented candles at Bath and Body Works, get your butt to the local mall (I know, ew, the mall) but unless you live/work in Manhattan, you can't visit the HB Boutique. If you have a modicum of patience, you can order them online.

I bought the GingeRrooT scented travel candle for my honeymoon and my honey loved it. It burned for 8 days straight to take the ammonia fumes out of the air in our hotel room in Curacao.

Now my office cube smells like amBeR, not old coffee and windex.

My honey took FiRewooD to work. Now he can pretend he is outside instead of working with computer servers.