God Bless Miranda

Today the little princess was baptized. What a whirlwind of a day. Thank you to Aunt Beth and Uncle Johnny for being her godparents. You did a great job.

She wore the christening dress my grandmother made for my mother. She wore it as well as my aunt and me. She looked beautiful.

I will post better pics when my dad sends them.

Holy Crap

Miranda slept through the night. OMG. Two nights in a row. Double OMG.

Friday night we went to watch my cousin's soccer game in Connecticut (they tied) in the FREEZING cold. Yes, we took the baby to a 7pm game in 50 degree weather. She was bundled up well and slept most of the time anyway. The game ended at 10pm and then we went to IHOP for pumpkin pancakes and hot chocolate (the best combination). Oh, and to warm up. The rest of the trip home took about 40 minutes and she slept the whole time. When we got home, I didn't want to wake her or put her on her back on cold crib sheets, so I left her in the car seat and placed it in the crib.

Where she slept.

Until 6am.

I was in shock. I was up at 3, 4, and 5am checking in on her with a bottle in one hand and a clean diaper in the other, but no need. She didn't even stir. Or whimper that she needed her diapy changed. When she did finally want to wake up, she downed almost 7 oz of formula and had the poopiest diaper I have ever changed.

I didn't care. She slept for almost 7 hours consecutively.

Last night was a repeat performance. She slept from 1am to 8am (not in the car seat, but ON me). I was up at 4am and 6am for no reason. But still...

Let this be the start of something good. Please Lord. I would LOVE to get more than 3 hours of consecutive sleep. I pray. Please let the luggage under my eyes fade back to their pale shade and the whites of my eyes be WHITE instead of bloodshot. Please let her continue this wonderful streak and I will light candles or slaughter a lamb or whatever you want. (Okay, maybe not slaughter the lamb because I could NEVER hurt an animal like that, but you get my point). Thank you for blessing us with such a good baby. She gets baptized next week, you know.

Anyhoo, keep your fingers crossed for us. I really could use the sleep.

Happy Birthday Miranda

You are 2 months old today. You have gotten bigger (you are almost 10 lbs!). You have kept the beautiful dark hair that you were born with but you were cursed with the cowlick that runs in my side of the family. Your hair is growing and beginning to show signs of soft curls. Your cheeks have plumped up and are ripe for kisses. You still don't like to be breastfed, so we have decided to go with formula. Of course, you won't take the regular kind, you need lactose free to control the crazy amount of gas you emit. You also don't do well with the powdered version (just add water!) or the concentrate. No, you only do well with the ready to eat version. We also have switched to the Playtex Nurser system with the disposible bags which has also helped control the gas of your distended belly. You are no cheap date.

You have just started tracking things well, and have quite a grip. You scream like crazy as soon as you have a wet diaper, but can sit for an hour in a dirty one. You love baths (maybe because you had low amniotic fluid in the womb?). You hold you head up VERY well and love tummy time. You hate sleeping on your back. You are just discovering that if you cry, someone will pick you up. You are now sleeping between 11pm and 4am (hallelujah!) but still need to be fed every 3 hrs otherwise. Mommy passes out by 10 pm, so Daddy gets you to bed. You eat between 4-6 oz at a time. You are starting to outgrow the newborn size clothes and are in 0-3 month size. You like riding our dog, Boba Fett (with help of course). He loves you and licks your feet, but is definitely jealous that you get more attention than he does.

You sleep during our daily walks. You like listening to "Piglet is Surrounded Entirely by Water" while we drive along. You smile with gas and are just starting to smile socially. You can make the Elvis lip without even trying. I taught you to stick out your tongue. You imitate me and we do it together. Grandma Mia is horrified that I would teach you something rude right away. :)

We sing the alphabet 100 times a day. We count to 10 in English, French, German, and Spanish. Grandma Mia sings you songs in Polish. We need new songs. Mommy is getting tired of "I'm a Little Teapot" and "Mares eat oats and does eat oats" and "Head, shoulders, knees and toes". We watch the news often, you will be very worldly.

I still can't believe that you came out of me (though I have the stretch marks to prove it). I marvel daily about how beautiful you are. I can only hope that you know how much you are loved. I want you to play the piano like Daddy. We both want you to read music like we can. We pray that you can hold a tune. I dream of watching your dance recitals like I had. Once you are old enough, we will go see the NYC Ballet and the Nutcracker every year. We want you to like to play tennis, soccer and swim like us. You WILL understand the rules of football and know the constellations in the sky. I want you to love to travel and have great knowledge of geography like me. I want you to have great passion about things like your sister does at such a young age. I want you to have compassion for those less fortunate than us and be concerned about preserving the environment.

Every day holds something new. I want you to know that we love discovering life with you. I can't imagine it without you.

Meme

Ok, I am resorting to a Sunday meme from Patrick's Place. So sue me. I just can't seem to be original today. Must be the impending doom of flooding that is about to overtake my house from the river across the street.

Name seven books (title and author, please) on your bookshelf that you couldn't resist buying...but that you haven't read yet!

Hmmm....
1. Hell's Half Acre by Will Christopher Baer. He is one of my fave authors and I was really looking forward the this final chapter of the trilogy, but haven't had time.
2. Life of Pi by Yann Martel. NY Times best sellers cant be wrong.
3. Secret History by Donna Tartt. She is friends with Bret Easton Ellis and they similar styles.
4. Sailing the Wine-Dark Sea by Thomas Cahill. I have read the other 3 in this series so far, but again, where does the time go?
5. Loitering with Intent by Peter O'Toole. This is his autobiography. If you have ever seen him and/or Richard Harris in an interview, you know that they are the craziest men ever to walk the planet. It has to be good.
6. Baudolino by Umberto Eco. Because I am DETERMINED to get through one of his books before I die.
7. The Nautical Chart by Arturo Perez-Reverte. He is another of my other fave authors. I LOVED The Club Dumas and have been hooked on his historical thrillers ever since.

My own fave author's list (in no particular order):
Anne Rice
Michael Crichton
Henry Miller
Hunter Thompson
Arturo Perez-Reverte
Chuck Palahniuk
Will Christopher Baer
Madeline L'Engle

Top 5 fave books (also in no particular order):
The Firebrand and The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
The Club Dumas by Arturo Perez-Reverte
The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L'Engle

All of these books have creases in their spines. I have read them all NUMEROUS times and they never seem to get old for me.

What are yours?

Apple Pickin Pics

They sold pumpkins too. Now if I can be savvy enough on Photoshop to erase that guys butt, it would be a cute picture.

A year ago today...

...we were doing this. When can we go away again?

Happy Anniversary

It was 1 year ago that we said "I do". I still mean it.

E. looked beautiful.

Traditions

I loved growing up in the sticks on Long Island. We lived close to the beach, so we practically lived there all summer. I used to race sailboats in the bay and go to private beaches on Fire Island and camp overnight. I canoed in 4 different rivers. I would spend time every summer in Sag Harbor with my grandmother and her sister. We would visit the whaling museum and spend time on the front porch telling stories eating homemade cheesecake and drinking unsweetened iced tea.

I could ride my bike a mile and a half from home at 9 years old without my parents freaking out. My neighbors had horses, chickens and goats. We could ride the horses and feed the chickens and goats anytime we wanted.

My brothers and I fished in the nearby river and swam in it too. We used a stick, string, and a safety pin for the rod and rolled up bread or freshly-dug up worms for bait. We had to dodge bees and mud bogs to get there, but we loved it.

The local lake was our natural aquarium and we would capture tadpoles and frogs and them have them race each other. We thought ice skating indoors was strange. There is something wrong about Zambonied ice.

The woods had "whoop-de-doos" in them naturally and we rode our bikes over them zealously until dark. The property next to ours had an old fashioned freshwater pump like I saw on Little House on the Prairie. We had tree houses and underground forts. We had impromptu kickball games and bike races. We played manhunt until way past our bedtime in the summer. In the winter, we would build igloos on both sides of the driveway and street and have snowball fights.

We used to go skiing every year with my parents best friends and their kids upstate. We all learned together and still have great fun recalling our mis-adventures.

At Halloween, my dad always made it special by dressing up in some crazy way and scaring the bejeezus out of the teenagers. Our house had candles burning and scary music playing. One year he chained himself up to the tree in our front yard with enough leeway so that he could climb to the branches above and jump down just as the kids were leaving. He carried an axe. It was great.

We used to go apple picking at a local orchard. The same farm had peaches and corn, so when they were ready, we used to pick those too. And pumpkins. How much fun is it to trapse through a pumpkin patch looking for the biggest or the most oddly shaped?

Honey used to go to Long Beach Island with his cousins and spent time at waterskiing camp on Lake Champlain. He had traditional Sunday dinners in Little Italy with his grandparents and the rest of the family.

Now that we live too close to the city, I feel an overwhelming sense of tradition and outdoor activities that I want to pass down to Miranda and E. How I want to give them the same opportunities for the best memories that they can take with them to adulthood. I want them to realize that the world didn't always revolve around playdates and things that cost money. You could be carefree and have a great time entertaining yourself wandering through the park or catching fireflies.

We took the first step this year by going apple picking this past weekend. We took pictures and climbed trees and ate apple cider donuts. We let the juice dribble off our chins from the Juna Golds. I want this to happen every year on the first Saturday of October. I want the kids to remember these things like I do.

Playing Catch Up

Just a few programming notes:

1. Gall bladder surgery went well. My incisions are healing. I am still on a low fat, low cholesterol diet which is strange since my cholesterol has never been high, it hovers around the 120 mark. At least I lost 24 lbs so far.

2. Thank god for mothers and mothers-in-law. They have been there for us, cleaning the house, watching the baby, and best of all, letting me sleep.

3. My back is doing terribly so I have to wheel Miranda around the house in her stroller sometimes and pass her to Daddy as soon as he gets home. She weighs only 8 lbs.

4. I am glad to hear that evacuees Catbird and Kelly are doing well. God bless you both. I have a hard time here with a 1 month old. I couldn't imagine going through what you guys have been through with a 1 month old. I am seriously checking out flood insurance. Even though the river here is relatively small, it can cause big damage.

5. Miranda is now 1 month old. I cannot believe it. She has been exculsively on formula since the surgery. I will try to breastfeed again now that the anesthesia is out of my system, but I am not convinced it will be successful. She has jumped from 4oz of formula to all of a sudden taking 6oz, making feeding much more difficult as I have to burp her much more often and she likes to take it in intervals. Feedings have now become 1.5-2 hour marathons. She then sleeps for an hour then is hungry again. She had her 1 month check yesterday and is 8 lbs, 19.5 inches. Not bad, but definitely behind. It's okay though, she was 4 weeks early. She also got her Hep B shot and cried for a second then was fine. She is amazing. I can stare at her little face for hours. Her cheeks have plumped up and her chicken legs are beginning to drop from her sides making her look longer. She is "talking" while she eats and holds her head up very well. She HATES wet and dirty diapers. I think she will be pretty easy to potty train. Hopefully, I didn't just jinx myself. She only cries when she needs a new diaper, is hungry, or needs to be burped. I am very lucky.

6. Soccer is now in full swing for E. Now that she is in U-12, she gets to play against more towns, not just other teams in her town. Every Sunday from now until November, we have games. She is also taking another acting workshop with an emphasis on singing. This should be great for her. I can't wait until the musical next Spring. I can't believe she is in 5th grade already. She is a great big sister to Miranda.

7. Honey was disappointed in my blog entry about Miranda's delivery. It doesn't mention him at all. How wrong of me! He was there every step of the way. He was very insistant with my doctors about delivering early (before we found out about the amniotic fluid being low) as the ICP has a high stillborn rate. The biggest problem was that the bile acid test was taking too long to get results, and my doc wouldn't say for sure that I had ICP until that definite marker came back positive. I had every other symptom. It takes over 7 days to get the results and we got the results AFTER she was born. He was there giving me ice chips and holding my legs back for the delivery. He even cut her umbilical cord. After she was born, she was "grunting" for 2 hours. He asked the OB about it and was brushed off as she was just "transitioning" as she was forced out early. He was VERY insistant and we got a pediatric resident to see her at 2 am. The resident immediately started shoving tubes down her throat as she still had too much guk in there. The resident even got her attending to come down and check her out just to make sure everything was okay. We knew something was wrong when she cried faintly after delivery. It wasn't the typical loud crying you hear after delivery. Meanwhile, I was done. I passed out immediately after her birth and was out of it for over an hour. Honey really was all over it and did well. Thank you Honey for being my go-fer and supporter and for being a pain in the ass to all the passive docs and being insistant that they do something.

8. I am deciding what to do about my maternity leave. My company has me down for returning November 21st. That is all my Family-Medical leave will allow. My disability runs out sometime in November or December. I have to follow up on that since I also had surgery and would have gotten 3-6 weeks for that recovery too. I want to go back in January, but I have to find daycare. Honey and I don't agree on daycare. He wants me just to stay home, but everyone is on my insurance. Besides, I love my job. I am not in a hurry to go back, but we need to get this sorted out pronto.

9. We are going to see Wicked in November for E.'s birthday present and I got tickets for just me and E. to see The Nutcracker at Lincoln Center. I can't wait to go. I am really excited for the holidays this year. What should Miranda be for Halloween??

10. Thanks for caring. I finally got the digital camera issue worked out and can start publishing pics soon.

Cuteness

All hail her royal cuteness.

Mommy had her gall bladder removed on Tuesday and is recovering nicely, thanks to Grandma Mia staying over and taking care of Mommy and me. Daddy is helping out too!

We will post more after Mommy recovers some more.

Love,
Miranda

New Game Show

Fear Factor: New Orleans

You have to wade thru the floodwaters to try to save one of thousands of abandoned pets, drink from the water, and then dodge debris as the water gets pumped back into Lake Ponchantrain all while trying to avoid contracting Hepatitis A, Cholera, Dysintery, and the plague.

I can't believe people want to stay behind. I cried today watching Oprah. Again. I don't think it is the hormones. I get so angry when I hear how everything got so screwed up and thousands of people are dead because of it. Will this city rise again??

Baby Update

Miranda is doing well. Her bilirubin is down and her jaundice is almost gone. She looks much better pink than yellow. We have been sitting her in the sun for the past week. It definitely helped.

Her ultrasound of the kidneys and bladder came back normal.

She continues to be a big challenge with breastfeeding, but thanks to the nipple shield, I can pretend my nipple is a bottle and she takes that better. She lasted for 15 minutes today! We have been going up in 5 minute increments, but this was the best yet. Hopefully we can get off the formula supplements.

Today she went for her first walk around the neighborhood in the new stroller. It was beautiful weather.

Honey and E. went to the wax museum in Times Square today. It is their last fun thing of the summer before school starts.

Congrats to my cousin who has a new baby, 2 weeks younger than Miranda. Carson Theodore was born Saturday, September 3 in Virginia, weighing in at 8 lbs 5 oz. We can't wait to meet you at Christmas!

Now I am off to clean the house before they get back. Thanks Flylady!

Delerium

Lack of sleep is really taking its toll.

Today, I made dinner and birthday cake for my mother-in-law. I barely cook and I got out the Cooking Light cookbook gathering dust and created Chicken with Long Grain Rice and Cranberries and Angel Food Cake with Cool Whip and Strawberries. Everything was good for the gall bladder. What the heck was I thinking subjecting my cooking to my mother-in-law's opinion while my hormones are still on a roller coaster?

After she left, I proceeded to clean the bathroom. Honey did not pick up that slack while I was pregnant. I did what I could that didn't require chemicals, so basic things got done, but I just spent 15 minutes scrubbing mildew from under the bathmat suction cups with a toothbrush doused in mildew cleaner. I think OCD is setting in.

Now I am on a mission to kill the pesky flies that are turning my house into the Amityville Horror.

After that, I think I am going to finish rearranging the clothes in my closet and drawers all while finishing thank you cards.

Sheer delerium.

Katrina

I am not ignoring the biggest disaster in this country's history, I just cannot come to grips with it. New Orleans is my favorite city outside of NYC. We were just there Memorial Day weekend. I am glad that I got to show honey some of what I love about that city. I have to change the channel frequently otherwise I will slip into a dull torpor. I already watched New York Minute and The Nightmare Before Christmas on HBO today to get my mind off it. Seriously, any bad movie will do. Okay, NBC is a great movie, but it is neither October or December, so it was a random pick.

On a more serious note, PLEASE, donate, donate, donate. I donated to the Red Cross and Doctors without Borders for the Tsunami. I am donating to the Red Cross and my church for this.

Also, I know there are some bloggers from New Orleans and others that have family that are effected by this. Please, let me know if there is anything I can do to help. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Happy Birthday Mom

Miranda wasn't going to wait to be born on your birthday, sorry! But she is the greatest gift, no? Thanks for teaching me what it means to be a great mom (even though I was an ungrateful bitch sometimes as a teenager). I am glad you were there for her birth and for the week after. I am eternally grateful. Have a great birthday.

Precious

Pics!

Ain't she cute? I can't take it! Here she is just a few hours old. She wound up under the bili lights for a day and a half and wasn't fond of breastfeeding. She still has a a touch of jaundice and has to be exposed to sunlight as much as possible. Breastfeeding is quite a challenge and getting more difficult.

She is one week old today and is already trying to hold her head up and is an expert in wet and dirty diapers. Most of her stump has already fallen off.

With low amnio fluid, the ped wants her to have an ultrasound of the kidneys and bladder. Tomorrow we find out if everything is okay.

Being home is better than being in the hospital!

Part 2 of the birth story to come...my honey was very involved, as was my gall bladder.

She's here!

Miranda Rose has arrived with a very grand entrance into this world!

Monday morning arrived with the most intense itching I had during the pregnancy. I itched myself raw in the night and went to see my doc that afternoon. No, it was not PUPPS, but a more rare pregnancy condition called ICP, Intrahep-something Cholestasis of Pregnancy, which means that I have a bile acid backup condition from a malfunction in my liver. The effect on the baby is not well documented and basically after a lot of research-stillbirths are an effect of the pregnancy. My doc took bloods, sent out the lab and stated that she might have to induce me early if the results come back positive. The downside? Only 2 labs in the US do this test and it takes a WEEK for the results to come back. So, I was sent home hoping things were ok.

Well, after trying to keep calm and working a dinner meeting on Tuesday, I had excruciating pain in my back and couldn't sleep. I went into the bathroom, nearly passed out, then proceeded to yack my guts up in the sink. The pain was horrible. We called the OB who took too long getting back to us, and made the journey into Manhattan at 2am, Wednesday, August 16.

The OB thought I was having back labor, but the pain was too intense and I was screaming bloody murder. I kept thinking, "If this is labor, we are NEVER having kids again". The pain intensified over the course of an hour and I was allowed to get morphine. It was then determined that I was about to give birth.

To a kidney stone.

Oh, the pain. Oh, the joys of morphine. I knew it would make the baby drowsy, but I would be no good to her in the state I was. So, after a night in the hospital and great pain meds, I thought things would be great and I would be able to resume a normal pregnancy.

But, no.

After a quickie ultrasound it was determined that I had 1. kidney stones, one in each kidney 2. gall stones, and lots of little ones, and 3. low amniotic fluid. The doc determined that the low fluid was enough to keep me in the hosp until she was born. I was sent for an amnio immediately to check to see how developed the baby's lungs were. Now mind you, if my bloods came back from California that I definitely have ICP, I would have to be induced anyway. I was 36 weeks.

Oh, amniocentesis, how I loathe you. I participated in the FASTER trial early in pregnancy (as I was determined to be high risk as I am over 35) and all of my screens came back negative. They told me I had the option for an amnio. I refused. No way was I getting that huge needle in my gut. No way. Now, being 9 months along (aka, pretty big belly), with low fluid, just where were they going to draw the fluid from? Oh, no. Not the side. My fluid was so low that they had only 1 spot to draw from, right under my ribs. Yes, the doc put the huge-ass, mutherfuckin amnio needle thru my rib muscle and didn't even get to the uterus when she decided to put her foot there, stopping mommy's excruciating pain, number 2. How does it compare to a kidney stone? Well, the stone is a 10 on the pain scale. A definite 10. The needle through my ribs? 9.5 from the East German judge. Horrible. I don't recommend it. And the worst part? The fluid had already dropped from the previous day. Oh, pitocin, here I come.

I was offically induced at 4pm on Thursday with the cervical gel. It didn't work. I asked for the epidural catheter asap while I was no longer in pain and could sit still. I was offically given pitocin at 3am Friday. Nothing. Barely any contractions. At 3pm Friday, nothing. Frustration was settling in. Finally some movement, but nothing significant. So, they broke my water. THEN things started moving. Now, with low fluid already, we were watching her heartbeat like crazy. It dipped. Now that I really had no fluid, she had to have a bath. Yes, I had saline swooshed around my uterus to make sure that she could slide out. Oh joys of motherhood.

An epidural catheter in my back. IV line with fluid and pitocin my my left arm, and constant blood draws for my liver function levels in my right arm. A foley catheter in my bladder. An intra-uterine contraction monitor that doubled as a crazy straw for the saline bath. I felt like Frankenstein. And STILL my cervix wouldnt open. Stubborn bitch.

They kicked up the pitocin at 9pm on Friday. THANK GOD FOR EPIDURALS. Things started moving then. They hoped for 1cm per hour so I could progress from 4cm to 10 in 6 hours. HA! I went from 4cm to 10cm in 3 hours. After 50 minutes of pushing, Miranda Rose FINALLY emerged into this world, along with a not-so-great placenta and short umbilical cord. At 12:01am on Saturday, August 20. I kept the kid, the rest went to pathology. The bad placenta is a side effect of ICP.

She had some gook in her lungs and was suctioned a lot, but thankfully was fine. With a lot of hair. I passed out immediately after birth and was finally in the post partum unit at 3:30am.

So, welcome into the world Miranda Rose, 12:01am, Saturday, August 20, 6lbs 10.8oz, 19in and 4 weeks early.

I will post a pic asap. Oh, but stay tuned. Did you forget about the gall stones? Part 2 to come...

Up too early

One of the things I have been blessed with for most of this pregancy is the ability to sleep through the night. I haven't gotten up in the middle of the night with irrepressible urges to pee all night. I HAVE had the "OMG, make my skin stop itching please" and "I am going to die from a gas bubble lodged in my ribs" insomnia. But for the most part, it hasn't been bad. Until today. I had all 3 at once. Talk about pain and just plain being cranky for the last 2 hours that I have been up. Feh. I have to decide if I feel up to working. I just want to curl up and sleep.

E. is going to Florida today. And in bad parent fashion, neither me NOR the honey remembered that she was going with grandma for 10 days. How horrible are we? I cannot believe that I just plain forgot. Well, we got her packed and she is off on JetBlue this morning so at least she will have satellite TV. After last night's wicked storms, she is a little nervous about flying, but so far, this morning looks good. She just got here. We will have her for 10 more days after she gets back though. That's more time to finish her room too!

Well, off we go to the airport. I just hope I get the gas out of my ribs for the ride...

New Loves

I know, I always have an excuse. Basically, work is crazy and I walk and act in half the speed I had before I was pregnant so really, I am on time.

Ok. I admit it. I am NOT a big fan of ice cream. I had a traumatic experience when I was a kid and I never really took to it after that. I will explain another day. Throughout this pregnancy, I have not had the typical cravings. This weekend, ice cream I wanted. Ben and Jerry's Karamel Sutra to be extact. OMG. Heavenly. Ecstasty. It should be illegal.

This is a rediscovery of an old love. Pistachios. I am sucking those pups down like no tomorrow. At least I have the good ones from Trader Joe's.

Free diapers. I hate the junk mail that comes with being pregnant as you wind up on every mailing list in the country, but the free diapers and disposable nursing pads rock.

Loving the fact that I still have not gained any weight over my pre-pregnancy weight. I swear, I am not doing it on purpose. I lost 3 lbs the past 2 weeks.

Another new old love. I love driving manual transmission. Our new used car is a stick. Dunno why. Just love it.

I hope I love the bedroom furniture when it comes on Friday. The baby furniture is here, but not finished yet. This week is all about the bedrooms.