Good Things: An Update

Yesterday was actually a really great day.

I had my glucose tolerence test without too much difficulty, the sonographer got a good look at the baby's feet ( finally) and is 98% sure it is a girl. I had some heart palpitations over the weekend (along with nausea, severe headaches, and generally not feeling well) and now I have to have an echocardiogram just to rule out mitral valve prolapse. I can deal with that. Nothing too horrible going on. The best part? I have not gained 1 pound in a month. I am actually at the weight I was BEFORE I got pregnant. I lost so much weight the first 3-4 months due to morning sickness that I hope I will be ahead of the game when the baby is born!

Baby stats: according to the sonogram
Weight 2.5 lbs
Length 14.75 inches

Gestation:
By due date 26w5d
By sono 27w4d

Name: Miranda
We are going to leave the middle name up in the air until she is born, but so far in the running is:
Skye
Rose
Kate
Elizabeth
Katherine

I am sure we will have more by the end of the summer, but everyone so far likes Rose, Honey's grandmother's name.

Just in case the sonographer was way off, the boy's name is Joseph Michael. I am adamant about not having all pink here. There has to be some margin of error!

On the home front:
We are on our way to being preapproved for a mortgage. It is very nerve wracking. We have brought up my credit score and paid off a lot of debt these past few years and it finally paid off. Things look good. I can't believe it. The best part? We are not even really looking, it is just in case my landlord decides to sell the house we are in now at a bargin basement price.

We bought a car yesterday. A used 1997 Mazda Protege in excellent condition and gets MUCH better gas mileage than the PT. So, Honey will have a better commuting car and we will eventually trade in the PT for a newish Subaru Outback Wagon (hopefully by the end of the summer).

Unpacking? What's that? We dont even have bedroom furniture (which is making our moms CRAZY!). We are still living out of laundry baskets and plastic bins, with clothes strewn across the basement (neatly, I swear!) but at least now we have a fire under our butts to get the bed frame and furniture as I dont want to have the baby's room set before ours! Selfish, I know, but really, she has some time, we don't.

The dog is becoming more possessive of his time with us. Really, with Honey, and not with me so much, but he is up our butts all the time. I think he is really aware that he won't be the baby anymore. Should we look into a class for him or hold a baby doll around the house or is that really stupid? He really is a gentle, sweet dog, but I have NO idea how he might react. I think once the baby furniture comes in, we will worry more about it then. On another note, we are getting him microchipped as he likes to wander off when the gates to the backyard are left open by the stupid lawn guys. We live by a MAJOR highway. I can't bear to lose him!

The highlight of yesterday, I got approved for AMEX. They blacklisted me 10 years ago when I was in college and just lived off the card and wasnt able to pay it off. Dammit! I was a poor college student! Lesson to all the college students out there? DON'T SIGN UP FOR ALL THE CREDIT CARDS ON CAMPUS. IT CAN RUIN YOUR FUTURE WHEN YOU TRY TO APPLY FOR A CAR LOAN OR MORTGAGE LATER. I am living proof. It took over a year of disputing with them to get them to realize I AM a responsible adult. Really I am. I just happen to sleep on a mattress on the floor in a rented house. For now.

The future really looks bright, I gotta wear shades.

Hello again!

I am sure you are dying to know how things went in New Orleans.

My meeting went off very well. Extremely well. Surprisingly well. After the meeting, honey came down for our last hoorah. I cannot believe we did what we did. It was a whirlwind tour for him. Thank goodness we came back on Sunday night so we had Monday to recouperate.

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing" was the quote of the trip.

We tried to hit every major attaction just so we could say we did.

Here was our itinerary:
Friday night
Dinner at Adelaide's (sister restaurant to Commander's Palace)--Didn't want to travel to the Garden District for dinner there, I was exhausted from working all day
Bourbon Street (complete with breast-bearing bead-tossing, not mine)
Jean Lafitte Blacksmith Bar (sans lights, it is a cool place)
Voodoo Shops
Maison Bourbon for some Jazz
Then back to hotel for some porn-induced sex

Saturday
Lazy morning
Breakfast at Brennan's (too heavy, all I wanted was French Toast and watermelon. We had Eggs Benedict, Oysters Rockefeller, Baked Apple, and Bananas Foster, Honey had Mint Juleps).
Walk through Quarter
Snack at Cafe du Monde (MMMM, beignets.)
Mardi Gras Museum (rode a simulated float)
Jean Lafitte National Historical Park (leaned what Iko, Iko means)
Quick stop at Cathedral to bless baby
Walk along river, stopped by Natchez Steamboat, listened to jazz band
Streetcar from Aquarium to Poydras
Mulates for Cajun Catfish and Gator
Waddle back toward hotel
Shower and change for dinner
Dinner at Delmonico's (AMAZING steaks. I heart Emeril.)
Bed (exhausted from food and walking)

Sunday
Breakfast in bed
Cemetery Tour of St Louis No 1 (in rain)
St Charles Streetcar from Tulane for cheap tour of Garden District
1 hr in Harrahs (Honey won!)
Off to airport for PoBoys to go

All in all, we saw and ate a lot. Honey still doesnt understand why this is my fave city outside NYC, but then again, walking thru the quarter without a hurricane in my hand and a huge belly is not exactly the feeling I like to have when I am there. Also, he doesnt like fish. I think that is sacreligous in New Orleans. Next time we go, I will have to flash some boobage for beads (ha!) AFTER the baby is born or just have Honey throw them to me at home.

Now, back to reality and the grind, but now things have slowed down enough, I can actually do stuff AFTER work like put together the house, cook dinner, be nice to Honey, etc. Ah, summer.

Good bye month from hell

May is usually the worst month in my business. Everything explodes, meetings are scheduled on top of meetings and I go crazy trying to keep up. My mantra is "just make it to June". Well, after having 6, yes, 6 meetings in 7 days in six different cities, the end of the craziness is around the corner. Last week was spent playing catch up at work, hence my lack of blogging, and we also, like, moved, so getting rooms together was pretty much a priority.

So, the celebrate the end of the craziness, my last business trip that I will be traveling by plane for is to my second favorite city outside of NYC. New Orleans. Great food, great hotel, hopefully, great weather. This time honey will come along. He has never been there. I have been there 3 times this past year. I am really looking forward to showing him around the quarter and such.

On the baby front, we took the kids to see Star Wars Episode III this weekend. I cried like an idiot when Anakin burst into flames. Blame the hormones. The cool thing was, when the music started booming for the coming attractions, the baby kicked like crazy. It was hysterical. Honey and E. kept feeling my belly. Then I got all worried that I was making the kid deaf before s/he was born. At least I can tell s/he that they were there for the last Star Wars in the theater.

On the house front, holy crap, we unpacked a lot. The good thing is, we don't have to paint. The rooms were all freshly painted before we moved in and as much as I would like to change the color of the baby's room from white to a softer color, I think we will have to make due with a fun border, framed prints and hanging up a quilt for decor. I am still tossing around the idea of a soft honey wood wainscoting for the bottom half of the walls. No paint. No mess. Just point the nail gun and shoot. Then we get the crib, dresser, and glider. That's all. Oh, and my mom is bugging me about registering. Hello? Didn't I say that NOTHING would happen until June? Anyhoo, this is the theme I keep going back to. So, in June we register for the rest of the stuff.

Well, I am out for the rest of the week, N'Awlins, here we come. Enjoy the holiday weekend everyone. See you in June!

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there.

We had a nice day with my side of the family at my parents house, my godmother and family, my brother and sister-in-law, my aunt and uncle, my cousin, his wife and girls, and E. came for the fun time with the girls, to celebrate with a small sample of my very large, crazy family.

I cannot believe that E.'s mom had a Mother's Day without her one and only child AGAIN. The first time she was 6 years old and crying "why doesn't mommy want to spend Mother's Day with me?" and we tried with all of our might to hold back tears and reassure her that it wasn't her fault and that mommy wanted her to celebrate with her new family now (meaning me and daddy) and to get used to me. We spent that day with honey's mom, her grandmother. Now, 3 years later, she pulled it again. She would rather spend the day doing something else. I couldn't believe it. I cried again, this time, E. didn't. She was fine. She wanted to spend the day with the kids anyway and have an adventure with tons of family. That made us feel good that she wanted to be with us, but we still felt terrible.

But then, at 9am on Sunday, she showed up wearing pajama pants and an offensive Happy Bunny t-shirt, and sneakers. We were going to church at 10am. And since we are living out of boxes and the rest of her clothes are at her mom's, we had NOTHING for her to change into. Honey ran after her mom to ask WHY on earth she was wearing pajama pants (after we specifically told E. not to) and didn't even look washed, her mom said that she was fine and sped away. Floored. We were absolutely floored.

So, off I went to find ANYTHING that might fit her. We wound up skipping church so we could do laundry of clothes that fit her (I found some stuff that was ok for a BBQ, but still not appropriate for church). We got her cleaned up and we actually were early at my parents house. It worked out in the end. But come on, why isn't there monitoring of what the custodial parent is (or in this case, isn't) doing? Can't we just get on the same page in deed, not just in word? It is really frustrating.

Then to make me cry even more, she made me a card (so cute) and gave me gift. A charm bracelet that says MOM. The link-to-link kind that we can add these to. I told her we can pick them out together and it would be just about us, nothing on it about the baby. Our special thing. She seemed excited about that.

Now, E.'s musical is this weekend. We are so excited for her. She told us that she has about 20 people coming to see her between our family and her mom's and her friends. Who will be the one with flowers and balloons for her every night? That's right, us.

Thank you to Mom, Grandma, Nana, Oma, ALL of my aunts, and K. for showing me the way of a good mom. I hope to live up to what you do everyday.

The Kindness of Strangers

I work in Manhattan. I take the subway. I have mentioned it before, but never have I given a full on account of what it takes to ride the subway. Especially pregnant. Standing in a crowded car. Next to a man who smelled HORRIFICALLY. Did I mention, I'm pregnant and can smell my neighbor's kitty litter box in her laundry room? It took all of my might NOT to throw up right next to him. I couldn't even look in his general direction. If given the chance of offending one person due to their poor personal hygiene or offending a whole subway car of passengers with my vomit, manners go out the window.

I quickly shifted myself to another part of the car and then this elderly hispanic lady (the only woman sitting with a bench full of men) takes one look at my belly and pale face from the smelly guy and offers me her seat. None of the men sitting next to her even glanced in my general direction while I was strap-hanging. She offered me her seat. Wow. I was floored. But she was like, 85 years old and very frail looking. I thanked her for her offer and explained I was getting off a the next stop. I was warned by another girlfriend that no one on the subway could give a crap, but this lovely lady did.

Thank you, whoever you are, thank you for showing me that not all New Yorkers are callous and don't care, especially on a crowded subway during rush hour at 7:45am.

Ok, the baby is a...

SPOILER ALERT, If you don't want to know the sex of the baby, don't read anymore.

Of course, we would like to as well. The kiddo was a little shy and crossed his/her legs for most of the ultrasound. The sonographer had difficulty trying to see anything. We have to go back in 2 weeks to get a good view of his/her feet and hopefully a much better view of the goods. The sonographer was leaning toward a girl, but wasn't totally convinced. Hell, I am not convinced. I really want a boy. I figured if we found out the sex now, then if it is a girl then I can get over my disappointment now. I know, I know, the only thing that matters is that it is healthy. But, I really want a boy. I have a great fear of raising a girl. I was not an easy kid to raise, still aren't, and I don't think I could take a mini me. There. I said it. Let the bad mom lashing begin.

On another note, I can add to my stress (like I need more) as my new landlord dropped the bomb yesterday that he is selling the house. Umm, we just signed a 2 year lease. And we aren't even all the way moved in yet. Hello? Us? Over here? Don't want to move again. This should be an interesting week.

So, to lighten up the atmosphere around here, E. has been practicing so hard for her first musical. She has 3 parts in Annie; Ms. Ward, Usherette, and FDR. She has lines and even gets to sing a few lines of Tomorrow solo! She practices her dances every day and her singing has improved exponentially. I think for her birthday, we are going to take her to see Wicked. She will have her name in lights. I can't wait.

Happy Monday

We survived the weekend. Both my mom and mother-in-law and my godmother came up to help us get the house together this weekend. It is going to be an expensive Mother's Day this year. They did so much. From contact papering the kitchen cabinets and loading in 75% of the food to getting everything in drawers, 7 loads of laundry (I am still convinced the washing machine doesn't work properly), and the father-in-law helped honey put together the entertainment unit. That took 3 hours. The best was everyone giving their opinion on where things should go all the while cursing us for having so much stuff. I don't think I want to have them over together again until the baby's christening. I was emotionally drained. I had to escape for 30 minutes to pick up dry cleaning and I wanted to find some other errands to do! All kidding aside, they did help us a lot, from putting together furniture and getting stuff into their new homes. Thank you all. We love you lots.

Now we have a crazy week ahead. I am traveling to Orlando, honey's birthday is Friday and he wants to have people over for a BBQ. How will we get the house ready!

Also, E. had such a good report card, we went shopping for a new bike yesterday. Check out the new one! She got the cool step-through frame that looks like this. Now she and honey can go riding on the bike path across the street from our house or on the aqueduct anytime.

Today I am 19w4d and we have the gross anatomy ultrasound. We ARE going to find out the sex of the baby. My FASTER results came back with a negative screen, we passed with flying colors, no amnio needed. <1 in 10,000 chance for abnormalities. Doc said he would take those odds to Vegas. Today we will know for sure that everything is healthy (at least as much as we can until the baby is born).

Honey asked this weekend if its not a boy, can we try again. I told him no, I am done, all this itching, the rash, the indigestion, the inconvienence of everything has been miserable for me. He was so pissed. I told him to ask me again AFTER the baby is born. Right now I am halfway through and I am done. We haven't even reached the high point of the hot summer and inadequate air conditioning and I am done. Ask me again in October. At least the house is halfway finished. Soon we can start getting stuff together for the baby.

Moved in

Well, we did it. We are now officially living out of boxes. We packed and moved most our things last weekend, we hired movers but we both wound up lifting and moving things (I carried light stuff, don't worry). As of yesterday, we are officially out of our old apartment with the Hudson River View and we now have a Saw Mill River view. I think I want the Hudson River back. But this is a house. With hardwood floors. A finished basement. Washer and dryer. Deck and backyard. Have I mentioned that there aren't any hills? It cuts 15 minutes from honey's commute and he hasn't been late all week. I have been in at 8:30am all week. This is a good thing.

Both mother and mother-in-law have come to help get stuff out of boxes. Now they both want to come up on Saturday. I don't think I can handle that. My mom, very particular about linens, china, and matching silverware, and placement of things in the linen closet vs. his mom, who just wants things clean, no matter what they are. I know they both have the best of intentions, but I don't think I can handle it. I just want to sleep. I am exhausted. I think I have to cave and get that body pillow.

Bipolar Girl

Yep, that's me.

One minute I am great, the next, a horrible mess. One minute I am screaming during the Duran Duran concert at John Taylor, boppin around to all my old favorite tunes (The Chauffeur, Save a Prayer, and Hungry Like the Wolf) with my honey smiling at me because he has never seen me be a silly teenager. The next, I am a stress-out, confrontational mess with messy hair and no make-up over moving, feeling uncomfortable all-over and all the hassles going on over one of my accounts at work.

If I take it easy, can I not feel guilty about not working so hard? My body knows to slow down, I don't know if my mind can.

Mom, let me out!

We felt the baby kick this weekend. It was the weirdest feeling I have ever experienced. It was quick poundings that felt like someone banging on the bathroom door because they had to pee so bad and someone was already in there. The funny thing is, immediately after it happened, I had to run into the bathroom. Then s/he did it again so Daddy could feel it. Big sis didn't get to feel it this time, but I am sure we'll have plenty of opportunities later.

I was shocked and happy, crying tears as I do, and of course, honey had his digital camera. So far, that was it, no other kicks or pounds. I will keep you posted!

TGIF

I can't believe I worked until 11pm last night. Ugh.

Here's the the weekend.

How cool

They are filming a movie outside my office called "The Commuters". Apparently the story follows 3 couples as they commute from suburbia to NYC. How cool would it be to be caught in the background in a small cameo walking all preggers with building badge around my neck, Coach bag on my arm, living the REAL commuting life?

Ah, a beautiful day. Off to Bryant Park for lunch. Ciao!

Beautiful day...

...horrible feeling me.

I HATE being sick. I avoid it like the plague, but it always finds me. So on top of being 16 weeks pregnant, I am sick, taking Zithromax, Sudafed, Claritin, and Tylenol on top of my multi-vitamin. So what does that cocktail do? Make me puke my guts up of course. I can't take it! I thought I was done with puking! So now, I am sipping water, working from home panicking about how the heck we are going to move in 1.5 weeks.

Oh, yeah. Forgot to mention. We are moving. Another rental, but its a 3 bedroom house. With a yard. No hills or stairs. Yeah! We have to be out of here by April 15.

And, we told E. She was excited. She also said, "what about Disney World?" What, like we go there annually? Last year was my first time back since 1980. Then she asked, "how does he breathe?" Good question young padua.

Now, off to pack and try to feel better. Hope everyone is seeing spring today!

Sponsor Me

Spring has come and everybody and their mother is raising money for one cause or another. I am raising money for AIDS Walk NY. My company has been a huge supporter of the walk and we have been a gold team for the past 4 years (meaning we have been one of the top 20 fundraisers in NYC). It is a fun rivalry with our main client, Pfizer, and we love to show them that a company of 150 people can beat them.

So please, show your support for AIDS research. The money goes toward many AIDS related foundations including Gay Men's Health Crisis and 40 other organizations, nationally and in the tri-state area for research and crisis management.

You can donate here.

Let me know if you have difficulty with the link.

Thank you for your donation! Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Dreaming...

I rarely remember my dreams. Hardly ever. It makes my honey crazy. He can go into extreme detail regarding his bizarre dreams but he just doesn't believe me that I really don't remember my dreams. When we were getting married, he asked me constantly if I was dreaming about old boyfriends or crazy wedding scenarios as he had heard other brides had done. He had, I hadn't. I remember 5 dreams that I had recently that made a profound impression. Even now, the details are fuzzy, but the jist is there. The worst was when I vomited in my dream. I searched forever for some dream interpretation. It signaled a new start.

Last night I had the stangest dream, I sailed away to China, in a little row boat to find ya....Alright, enough with the bad 80s songs.

I dreamt that my broke my tooth. The molar that I already broke was broken even more. It was left with jagged edges and had a cavity. Yuck. Either it means that my business is in jeopardy or I really need to go to the dentist and get that molar filled so I can stop worrying about it.

Cool, practical present

My brother and sister-in-law know me well. We just received our first baby gift in the mail. It was a cute baby picture frame (with gift-receipt, they know me too well) and a great book called Baby Bargins. Now if I were to recommend it, I would recommend you borrow it from someone because buying it seems to defeat the purpose of a bargin. At least get it on sale.

Anyway, since I have NO clue what we got ourselves into by "letting one past the goalie" as my honey so elequently put it, I also have no clue what we are in for with all the stuff that comes along with the baby. Here is where the book comes in handy. OMG, there are so many rules. I thought we could just borrow a crib. Or buy second hand stuff at yard sales if needed. Big ticket items especially. Oh no. There are federal regulations. Certifications. Wood vs metal cribs. Foam vs coil mattresses. Knee release vs double trigger release for the side of the crib. Solid sides vs slats. Italian vs Canadian vs American made. It has taken me 2 round-trip commutes to get through the crib section. Old vs new. Convertable vs non-convertable crib beds. My head is spinning.

At least the book has a rating system and reviews almost everything baby associated. I think it will take me all summer to read. I finally feel like I am accomplishing something. It feels good to be informed. Unlike the pregnancy books that make you paranoid, this actually made you feel as if you are doing the best you can for the new little one. Now my mom is disappointed that I don't want a bassinet that she can decorate all pretty with a frilly skirt. I would like to get a pack-n-play with a bassinet feature. Hey, I'm trying to be thrifty! Save the money for college (and Disney World and braces...)!

Cravings

I have been DYING for sushi. I know you aren't supposed to eat it, blah, blah, blah. But my body wants sushi. NOW. I used to treat myself to sushi every payday for dinner. More like a pre-dinner appetizer. A 6-piece California roll with sushi tuna and salmon was my favorite. Low-msg soy sauce, edemame, and iced green tea and I was set for the train ride home. It was awkward to eat on the train with chopsticks, but I was determined. And I succeeded.

Once you get pregnant, there are all kinds of things you aren't supposed to eat. Sushi is one of them. I understand the concern over raw fish, but what the heck do pregnant Japanese women eat? I have seen a Japanese breakfast buffet, I wouldn't eat miso soup for breakfast, but they do. They certainly don't give up sushi, do they? What would be the harm in giving in to a California roll? Mostly vegetables. Avacado. Crab meat (cooked). It can't be that bad. So I gave in. And DAMN! It was heaven.

Don't be calling Child Protective Services on me. I eat healthy. I take my vitamins (eventho they make me sick) and am trying pregnancy yoga. I don't watch The L Word or other "could be considered offensive" shows for fear that it could impact the kid. Let me live just A LITTLE! Jeesh! Oh, and I am having it again today because it is Good Friday and I am all about raising a little Roman Catholic kid on not eating meat on Fridays, so at least I have some responsibility in teaching religion and spirituality at an early age. (Negative comments about raising the kid Catholic will not be tolerated. Thanks!) So there!

Betty Crocker

I love my crockpot. I haven't used it lately, but I am a lover of all things that save time and taste yummy. One of my co-workers is freaked out by the notion of leaving something plugged in and ON all day without supervision for fear that her house would burn down. I, on the other hand, love the smell of pork chops and saurkraut when I come in after work. So, one of my other co-workers bought one for the first time. As he is from a third-world country, he LOVED the concept of the crockpot, and used it straight away after getting it yesterday. Then he proceeded to cook his dinner for today, overnight last night. Yes, his apartment smelled like Lamb Vindaloo all night. He couldn't sleep because all he smelled was his dinner. Ah, E, you crack me up.

Pregnancy Meltdown

I have been privledged to have experienced some of the typical pregnancy symptoms like uncomfortable sleeping, heartburn, morning sickness, forgetfulness. Nothing too crazy until yesterday.

You see I have a rather large chest. I bloomed at age 25 to a rather large 38D. On my frame, it looks normal, as I am no where near petite, but being pregnant, my chest has swelled. To a 42E. And they are getting bigger. Oh my god, they are huge. And they hurt. My honey loves it. I am loathing them.

My bras don't fit. I am in dire need for a maternity bra. Desperate is a better word. The problem is finding large size maternity bras is no easy task. After getting some direction on where to go from a cheap maternity store in a cheap mall, I visited the so-called up-scale store only to find that they have 25 styles for smaller chested women, but they don't carry anything over a 38D. The sales woman saw me staring at the wall of bras, mouth agape, not knowing what the heck to do, and said to me "I know, it's overwhelming". I replied, "It's frustrating". I enquired about larger sizes and she stated that I would have to special order them online or go to a specialty store in NYC. Tears swelled in my eyes. I lost it. I stormed out. I found my honey in the food store next door and I broke down in his arms. Right next to 2 women wearing full length fur coats in an organic food store gossipping about some other poor woman's bad plastic surgery. Then I made the mistake of driving.

On the service road leading onto the highway, I sobbed. Buckets. Uncontrollably. Hysterically. While driving. Trying to describe my horrible experience of being uncomfortable and the woman pissing me off and that my boobs are going to be huge and how bad will it be when I start breastfeeding and what will they look like after breastfeeding and me driving was a BAD thing to do. I almost ran us off the ramp. I had to pull over.

Ten minutes later, I was fine. But man, when those hormones hit, they don't mess around. And I still need a bra. Now.

I'm a loser

So much for New Year's Resolutions. My hopes of blogging have gone down the tubes. I have been sooo crazy at work and with me being 14 weeks preggers and all, my mind wanders like an alzheimer's patient.

I have a lot of opinions to talk about, Rabbi's giving babies herpes during their briss, Scott Peterson on Death Row, steriod use in baseball, MTA costs going up, how heartburn can ruin a person's life, and expanding pants that show off your new Homer Simpson figure. But my energy is spent. I can barely type. I have a baby on the way and I am having a hard time wrapping my head around that.

I am a bad patient. After working in doctor's offices for so long, I had a pretty good idea what you are supposed to do, so I wait until the last second to call them if I have a concern (ie, pain in my side for 4 days so I took Tylenol and rested and put hot compresses on the afflicted area). Turns out, the nurse practioner was impressed that I knew what to do and then I still had to go in for an urgent ultrasound. At least we got to see the kiddo again, s/he is fine, but I have a pulled muscle in my side and the doc threatened me with bedrest if I dont comply with resting as much as possible.

I am in a weird stage between regular and maternity clothes. I can't stomach eggs, chicken, spaghetti sauce, or pork. Garlic makes me vomit. This calls into question the Italian ancestry of the child. My honey is convinced it's the mailman's if it doesn't like pasta and gravy. I eat cantalope and watermelon daily. I hate cantalope. I lost 5 lbs at my last visit. The What to Expect When You Are Expecting book does nothing to help. It fuels fears. We still haven't told E. Where are we going to live? Our lease is up in August. Do we stay put or try very hard to find something to buy quickly? Will we have enough for a down payment? What about a new car? Can we survive in the PT Cruiser? Can I ever get a good night's sleep? Will my honey and I ever be on the same page about what our priorities are? I am pretty confident that I will be able to take maternity leave from September to January with all of my vacation and comp time built up. Then what?? My parents just told me they might be moving to Pennsylvania for retirement. Both of their jobs just had MAJOR shake ups. What about the idyllic going back to the place where you grew up with your kids to show them the holidays you had? All but 4 units of my extended family have left Long Island (and I have a HUGE family). Where will we spend holidays? There will be no one left. We are scattered all over the country now. Life is changing so much. It's whiplash speed. Can I handle it? Will I ever laugh again?

Too many unanswered questions. I think I will have to take it one day at a time. But we still have to get on the same page. How can I show my honey that I still love him despite my actions of not really doing anything but fight him on every issue lately?